While our culture prepares us for the arrival of baby and all that baby will need,

(showers, pictures, birth announcements, birthing classes etc.) it has not historically placed focus on preparing the mother for her healing and her resilience during the postpartum period.

Info Fact: What is the postpartum period? It is defined by the time frame from the birth through 1 year after birth.

For myself, pregnancy was full of preparation.

Preparation for the nursery, preparation for my growing body, preparation for the growth of the baby, preparation for our family, the name, my work, our life…….. HOWEVER, I forgot to prepare myself for how I would function after the arrival of my baby. That year-long period that everyone seems to forget about… (POSTPARTUM). I read books about pregnancy, baby’s growth, birth, birth plans, breastfeeding and growth of my infant…. I had outfits, toys, bottles, monitors, car seats, strollers, bottle warmers, breast pump, nursing bras, baby bows (of course!)… As you can see, I was determined to make sure I was prepared for anything and everything!

I knew how I wanted to give birth, how to start breastfeeding (sort of), how to hopefully help baby sleep…. I had a pediatrician ready, the daycare prepared for her arrival, work prepared for my maternity leave, my parents with a plan to fly in time for the birth……I had a full plan to make sure my step daughter never felt alone when I brought the baby home. I researched and knew how to help my husband adjust to the change, when my body would be ready for intimacy after birth and how to make sure no one in my family EVER FELT ALONE.

I HAD A PLAN FOR EVERYONE!!!!!

Everyone, but ME!

I was NOT prepared for the postpartum period where my mind, body, and identity would undergo some serious changes”. I was not prepared for the first two weeks of hormones, sleep deprivation, aching body parts,… and don’t forget the chafing nipples.

Even after all of my research, I was not prepared for the new role, new look, and new identity I would take on as a mom. After all, the focus of my research was all on baby, and not so much on momma. I was then not prepared for the change of life… the new role, new look, new identity I had. I was not prepared for my thoughts of pure excitement, consuming loneliness, overwhelming fear, and the constant attention this tiny human needed from me. While I would protect her with my life, I felt funny, different and very unlike myself.

I did not know that I should have had a communication plan with my husband to better help us through the first months of my daughter’s life.

I did not know that I would try to DO IT ALL MYSELF and never want to ask for help, and that ladies is NOT how it should be done.

I did not know that the adjustment would be strange, and I would feel unlike myself and unable to identify with this new me.

I did not know that the beauty of breastfeeding and keeping a human alive off of the milk from my body would be all consuming and tedious.

I did not know that in the middle of the night I would have a sense of resentment for choosing to sign up for motherhood and then immediately be flooded by guilt that I was a bad mother for thinking this way.

I did not know that I would irrationally fear that the worst would happen to my baby at any moment, and I was either glued to her or the monitor for the first 12 months of her life.

I did not know that being a working mother would be the most challenging duel of identities I would ever try to conquer.

And Ultimately?, I did not know that there was a way to prepare for this change of life.

I NOW know that there were things I could have been preparing for; “planning I could have done to ensure a smoother and easier transition for myself”

I NOW know that the loneliness I felt is normal, but does not have to be felt alone!

I NOW know that our culture’s view on INDEPENDENT MOTHERHOOD is skewed and in need of a change.

I NOW know that if we start to talk about the change before the change, we can build resilience and strength to endure the journey!

This blog was not created to scare you, or ignite feelings of distress or worry. This is a blog to empower you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. This platform is designed to empower you as a resilient and strong woman, even before you take the very first steps of becoming a mother (or, even before you take the very first steps of your journey to motherhood).

The idea is to know other’s experiences, know what to expect, and know how to build resilience so that you can glide through this period (even if it gets hard).

Now that I have studied the western culture birthing process and postpartum experience, I have come up with a simple checklist to go over during pregnancy to prepare you for postpartum. The idea is to have knowledge and a plan so that you can resiliently glide through the change of life during the postpartum period and for the rest of your life!

You’ve got this momma!!!! You are not alone!